Journal Entry – 5/13/2011
Dream & Vision
Title: PAIN


I saw a man walk in front of me from my right to my left. He was wearing all black clothes and walked in an angry depressed manner. I heard the Lord speak to the man, “You are bleeding in back. Your life is in danger”. The man kept on walking past me and I heard the Lord repeat, “I said you’re bleeding in back. Your life is in danger”!  I looked at the back of the man’s shirt and could see that it was soaked red with blood. He must of had a thousand thin cuts from top to bottom. Everywhere the man went he left a scent trail of blood behind him and he wasn’t even aware of it. The man had heard the Lord’s words but didn’t believe he was bleeding in back. He thought the Lord was talking about someone else.

I saw following the man was a suicide demon. The demon had been tracking and attacking the man for years and was about to launch and all out attack this time. The man was going to die. I watched the suicide demon attack the man. He resisted the strong urge to end his pain by taking his own life. As the man resisted the demon would back away just for a moment, then attack again and again, feeding on the man’s pain. The man’s pain had built up over a life time and had got to the point that dying might seem like the only way to escape the torment.

He cried out to God to protect him from the awful torment but the battle raged on for days. I heard the man say to God that he trusted his life to God and even though he was in torment the Lord would surely rescue him.

On the third day of the attack the man bowed before the Lord and accepted his death. “Lord if I must die, I die to you and not this demon. I accept my death. If you slay me I will hope in You regardless, for I shall find new life in you. I trust my life to You”. The man sat still for some time weeping before the Lord.

Shortly afterwards the suicide demon came back and attacked him again, but this time the man stood up under an anointing from God and commanded the demon to depart from him and to go back to hell where he had come from. The suicide demon left immediately and for the first time all the man’s pain was gone. A life time of pain was supernaturally gone. Not just last week’s pain, last year’s pain, but an entire life time of pain, gone in an instant.

Then I saw the man enter what appeared to be an old portico like structure, which you would see in the days of Jesus’ earthly ministry. The man’s face expressed joy and wonderment as he walked down the steps leading to a lower level.  A man wearing a hooded tunic, carrying a candelabra, stepped out in front and led the man further down the steps. The man in the tunic raised the candelabra up high in order to illuminate the path for the man so he wouldn’t misstep down the steps.  At the end of the was a beautiful pool. The man in the tunic walked over to a pool of water and motioned for the man to get in pool and wash. The man stripped his bloody clothes off and slowly walked down the steps into the pool of water.  Watching this reminded me of the blind that Jesus told to go wash in the pool of Siloam and the blind man came back seeing.

The man soaked his bloody back in the soothing water as it slowly washed away the blood as he waded deeper, submerging himself like in a baptism. Sometime later the man exited the pool. The man wearing the tunic dressed the freshly washed man in a cream white robe and led him back up the steps. At the top of the steps the man in the tunic vanished leaving the man to walk on his way.  The man smiled, raised his arms and praised God, thanking Him for a new lease on life for now his pain was gone. The pain of yesterday, last week, last month, last year and all his life, supernaturally lifted from his soul. Then the dream ended.

-End Journal Entry


The dictionary describes pain as physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness or mental, emotional suffering or torment. The word pain’s origin dates back to the time period of 1250–1300 A.D. Peine is and Middle English word for punishment or torture. The word for pain in Latin is poena as the Greek word poine means penalty.

Swimming Pool with WaterfallThe man in the dream had suffered many life events which had inflicted great pain deep into his soul. The man hid it as best he could but others could see it if they looked closer. The results of long standing, deep rooted pain, is spiritual bleeding. The man’s back was bleeding which suggest “past” pain in life that he still carried around with him. He could not see the spiritual results of his pain but Satan’s kingdom, in particular a suicide spirit, had been on the scent trail for years.

Sharks can smell a very small amount of blood in the water at a 1/3 mile away. Once a shark detects the scent of blood in the water it begins to track the source.  As the shark gets close to the blood source they get excited and begin plan their attack. In the same sense a suicide demon will track down the scent from a blooded wounded soul produced by a person with a great amount of unresolved pain to attack and destroy them in a moment of weakness and pain. The man in the dream was angry, despondent and alone.

In this dream the man was warned by the Lord that his life was in danger and even with that he barely escaped the powerful attack of this wicked spirit. I cannot over state the danger of unresolved pain issues in a person life. When teens who survived a suicide attempt are asked why they wanted to end their life the usual response is to end the “pain” of living. A suicide demon can linger at a specific geographical location just waiting to pick up on someone’s (bloody) pain trail as most demons will linger. They have to be run off.

A little over a year ago, my wife and I were walking side by side through the main road that went through this business when a semi-freight truck drove slowly past us just a few feet from where we walked. As I looked at the rear wheels as they rolled past. I heard a demonic voice say, “Throw yourself under the wheels”. As I pondered about what I had just heard my wife said, “You know what I just heard”? I said, “What”? She said, “Throw yourself under the wheels”. We had both heard the same evil suicide demon say the same thing at exactly same time.  Also read…Agents of Change True Spiritual Warfare

I now knew for sure there was a suicide demon hanging out on that property and it had to go. Later, I walked back to the spot where we had the encounter with the suicide spirit, prayed and commanded it to leave. Prior to that day there was a history of people who had worked at that facility which had committed suicide. A were in the distress of pain in their lives when they killed themselves.

Eckhart Tolle wrote in his book “A New Earth, “Accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain body. It has two modes of being: dormant and active. The pain body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, “become you,” and live through you. It needs to get its “food” through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness.

So the pain body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible. Once the pain body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn’t really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others.”

There is no escaping pain in this broken world which we were born into but we do have to recognize pain for what it is and what it isn’t. I’ve lost friends and acquaintances to pain that overcame their lives to the point they chose not to continue living. Being unconscious of pain in our lives and others and just ignoring it is a reciep for tragedy.

Have you found yourself forgiving and forgiving someone over and over again yet you still have anger towards them? Forgiving someone is by faith and as Christians we must do so. However, the pain and hurt of any situation will try to stay alive in our thoughts and memories. Pain wants to relive the situation in your thoughts as it rolls around in your mind over and over again feeding and feeding getting stronger and stronger.

Is pain an endless cycle in your life or someone close to you? Being aware of the fact that pain is there and dominating many of the decisions you make every day is the first step in becoming pain free. God works with each individual differently as the man in the dream where God miraculously delivered him from pain. I believe the first step to becoming pain free is the desire to be pain free. I have never seen God turn away a sincere cry for help from a desperate heart. God will make a way for you…start today on your journey to freedom.

Bro. Bill

Scripture References:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, Eph. 6:12-18

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. [“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”] Mk. 11:25-26

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Phil 4:6-8

Scientific Studies –

“Suicide does not just occur. Experience has shown that it is more often the end result of a process that has developed over a period of time…” N.L. Farberow

Suicide is the outcome of neurobiological and psychological breakdown. Becoming suicidal is a process that begins in severe stress and pain generated by a serious life crisis.

Stress and pain increase as the crisis, or the perception of it, worsens. As this happens, control and self-esteem deteriorate. Depression may be a cause or a side effect of the process.

Suicidality occurs when the stress induces psychological pain so unbearable that death is seen as the only relief. Prior to this point the individual is at risk of becoming suicidal. Beyond it the individual is at risk of completing suicide. Becoming suicidal is a crisis that causes traumatic stress.

Ingrained beliefs and values may cause an individual to be stigmatized by their own suicidality. This leads to shame and guilt. These cause alienation from self and withdrawal from others, which are also drivers.

Suicidality entails changes in brain chemistry and physiology. Suicidal individuals manifest various chemical imbalances. Most notable is depleted serotonin, a neurotransmitter that inhibits self-harm. This is a neurological threshold and those near or beyond it must be treated with medications.

There is no choice. Suicidal individuals are beset by suffering that is distracting and disabling. Suicidality is a state of total pain which limits options to enduring or ending utter agony.