Seeing In the Dark

Sunday morning I entered quiet time with a heavy heart, He had been quiet for so long. I needed to hear from Him and asked the Lord, “What have I done that so offends you? Are you not still my Lord? Do you not still have my heart?”

Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Come let us reason together, for I have graced you in many ways and indeed you truly walk in them. Although it isn’t understood by many, my paths are difficult to tread, even on a good day.

bubble boyBreezes blow and then they’re gone.  In the wind there is hope for a season of change. Light will once again shine upon you from out of the darkness; you will come to see more light. Dark times are necessary to teach you to appreciate the good things of life all the more; few can truly understand this principal. For to be able to see light and glory and hope while in the darkest of times, will be essential in the days ahead. It is vital to have “hope” when it appears to be hopeless.

Trust in Me and I will deliver you from the hands of those who are at odds with you, they are as a vapor to Me and will not stand in truth before Me. Between now and tomorrow I will deliver you from them. It will occur and the wind will cover your face. Let the word settle in your heart.

I am able to deliver you. I have a plan. I have a purpose. Come let us reason together. Light comes to you in the darkness. Light covers you in darkness. It is the way of the Lord.”  -Journal Entry End –

When my wife and I entered this season of walking blindly in the darkness, it just seemed crazy to think of God and to think of darkness. What was God saying to us…see in the dark!?

His Glory –

“Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.  Ps 97:2 NAS

“He bowed the heavens also, and came down

With thick darkness under His feet.

And He rode upon a cherub and flew;

And He sped upon the wings of the wind.

He made darkness His hiding place,

His canopy around Him,

Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.

From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,” Ps 18:9-12 NAS

After entering into this season of testing, while in my quiet time, my eyes were closed and I was meditating on Him.  I saw a dark shadow in a robe, shaped like the Lord, slowly pass between my head and the lamp sitting on the table to the right of my chair. After He passed, I opened my eyes and saw nothing nor did I sense anything there. I believe it was God showing me that His glory and presence can be as thick as darkness.

Then the LORD said, ‘Behold, there is a place by Me, and you shall stand there on the rock; and it will come about, while My glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by. Then I will take My hand away and you shall see My back, but My face shall not be seen.’” Ex 33:21-23 NAS

“Then Solomon said, “The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick cloud. I have surely built Thee a lofty house, a place for Thy dwelling forever.” 1 Kings 8:12-13 NAS

“I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze, and cut through their iron bars.  I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, in order that you may know that it is I, The LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.” Isa 45:2-3 NAS

Our God is ever teaching those who will follow Him in truth, new dimensions of Himself. Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:17 “That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.”

I pray this often, and I like it when God is revealing more knowledge of Him to me in dreams, visions and prophecies. I like serving God when His glory and His tangible presence are upon me. I like it when He seems so near to me and the anointing of God is so strong that I feel purposed in Him for great things. Who wouldn’t love that?

man on ladderHowever, God wants us to see another side of Him that is vital for the days and the years ahead and it is vital for the Bride of Christ to arm herself with this knowledge. God wants us to learn about seeing Him in the darkness. I know what you’re thinking that God is light and there is no darkness in Him, which is true but I’m talking about finding Him in the trials, insults, distresses, persecutions and in the most difficult of times, in the delay, in everything! We must learn to see God where He can’t easily been seen. As it is said, “There is an appointed time for everything, and there is a time for every event under heaven.”  Eccl 3:1 NAS

Paul wrote, “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor 12:10 NAS

“Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Phil 4:11-13 NAS

Paul said I have learned the “secret,” …which was seeing God in the darkness! He could see God when in abundance or when suffering need or filled and going hungry, he was content because he knew how God saw it, He allowed it.

Its human nature to want things to be easy, but God knows that isn’t the best thing for us. How can we learn to trust God unless we are placed into situations where we (or anyone else) are unable to deliver us? Years ago, I was in the attic of our home, when my eye caught some weight lifting equipment lying on the floor. I heard Holy Spirit say, “It’s the resistance that makes you strong.”

God allows the darkness to come with the trials and the testing. Jesus told Peter that Satan had demanded permission to test him and it appears that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit agreed it was a good idea. Peter was tested, and even denied Jesus, but He had already prayed for Peter’s faith not to fail.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, go and strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-33 NAS

When I asked, Lord how do we learn to see You in the darkness?  He reminded me that the human eye must acclimate when going from light to dark or visa versa in order for us to be able to see. During times of adjustment, we are helpless and feel vulnerable until our eyes have fully accustomed to the situation. Fear desires to grab hold of us when we can’t see. The correct thing for us to do is to walk blindly and to trust the fact that your steps are aligned with God and knowing that He sees clearly.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,”

Even the darkness is not dark to Thee,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to Thee.” Ps 139:11-12 NAS

Thinking too Much –

Don’t think too much, it is possible to think ourselves right out of the plan of God. God is working on our behalf whither we realize it or not and regardless if it’s day or night. When we are in the period of darkness, God is working.

Find Contentment –

When we are in the darkness, we must become content with the darkness of unknowing and obscurity. We must learn to walk in pure child-like faith, relying on the Father and the fact that He is extremely aware of our plight. Eventually we will move from unknowing to knowing. We don’t have to understand why, we just have to believe!

The Purpose –

glass houseI believe that God is preparing people to train the bride of Christ. In order to properly undertake this responsibility, we must be purged, purified and refined just as the bride of Christ will be. The darkness and its process is part of God’s greater plan. The darkness is full of tilts, of topsy-turvy and of rollercoaster events which are meant to bring the believer into a place of insight, humility, and child-like faith.  The darkness is cleansing and gives us the ability to see God in the darkest of times. The coming years will be full of darkness and the greatest of evil is at the threshold of time now. Revelation 12: 7-14 (War in Heaven).

Many church leaders around the world are reporting that the things in ministry that used to work are no longer working. Many ministries are struggling to make sense of it all. Attendance and offerings are down and the ones who are coming to church are perplexed as well. All the programs, sermons, praise songs, offerings, etc, aren’t able to keep people in church today. Many in leadership are frustrated and are making the mistake of brainstorming for new ideas to keep the people from leaving. They fail to recognize there has been a paradigm shift in the Spirit and that is the Preparation of the Bride has begun. The answer (insight) will be found when the church goes through a great period of darkness.

“And some of those who have insight will fall, in order to refine, purge, and make them pure, until the end time; because it is still to come at the appointed time.” Dan 11:35 NAS

And he said, “Go your way, Daniel, for these words are concealed and sealed up until the end time. Many will be purged, purified and refined; but the wicked will act wickedly, and none of the wicked will understand, but those who have insight will understand”. Dan 12:9-10 NAS

I pray this brings as much healing to you as writing it has to me.

Be Blessed In Him,

Bro. Bill Nelson



  • Oh That I May Be With Him

    One of the strangest lessons in this life must be that hardships and problems draw us closer and closer to our Lord.

    with himWhile still mourning the death of my mother, I was in the process of moving my oldest brother into suitable living arrangements.  My brother is mentally challenged and has been my “inheritance” since our mother’s death.  Naturally I was feeling sad, lonely and anxious from the stress, the decisions to be made and clearly the physical labor of moving.  I felt completely removed from my normal routine and wondered if my life would ever resemble what it used to be?  Would my life ever have a purpose or a destiny?  It appeared esteemed people around me had  a calling on their life; they had ministry positions and compared to my seemingly sad and boring life day-after-day, they looked to be important.

    While talking to the Father about these thoughts and feelings, I imagined myself to be of no use to Him, I felt I wasn’t working for the Kingdom and somehow “letting Him down.”  Quietly I said to Him, “Lord, I just want to be used by You, to do something for You.”  Quickly, Holy Spirit responded to me, “I have lots of people doing things for Me, what I need is someone to be with Me.”  Those simple yet profound words thrilled me; He wants me to be with Him!  These magnificent words changed my life and changed the way I saw myself from that moment forward.

    The Father desires a relationship with you.  No longer is there a wall between you and God, you have access to Him, He desires for you to spend time with Him, getting to know Him.

    “Jesus went up into the mountain, and called to himself those whom he wanted, and they went to him.  He appointed twelve, that they might be with him, and that he might send them out to preach, and to have authority to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons.”  Mark 3:13-15.

    “Father, I desire that they also whom you have given me be with me where I am, that they may see my glory, which you have given me, for you loved me before the foundation of the world.   Righteous Father, the world hasn’t known you, but I knew you; and these knew that you sent me. I made known to them your name, and will make it known; that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”  John 17:24-26

    bench afarJournal entry: Lord I’m thanking You for opening doors for my brother a nice house to live near us and for him to be safe and happy.  I’ve felt really sifted during this process of mourning Mom and taking on the responsibility of my brother. Sometimes a part of me wants my old life back!  I’m afraid and weepy today but I keep my eyes on You Lord and I won’t LET myself be troubled, I won’t LET self pity come on me, I won’t lose heart or lose faith in You.  You will never leave me or forsake me.  When I feel like this, I do not need to think or mull things over, I don’t need to seek pity from others, I just need to be still and quiet and look to You.  So, I stay on the alter under the knife and I will my mind to shut up and to offer praise, thanks and prayers unto You, for I know You have a plan for me and for my life for a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).    I am weak in myself but strong in You Lord.

    I visualize bringing my cares and laying them at Your feet, I see You touch the top of my head lovingly and I crumble at Your feet.  I hear You telling me, “Shhhhhh.”

    My friend, St. John of the Cross said, “The deeper my faith = the closer my union with God.”

    “Experience with God only comes by pressing in and abiding in Him.  He wants purity of heart, not gifts without fruit.”  It’s not about religion, it’s about relationship.”  Neville Johnson

    Be Blessed In Him,

    Jae



  • Let God Cast the Vision

    Proverbs 29:18, says “Where [there is] no vision, the people perish.” The emphasis here is “prophetic vision” berthed by God.Sometimes as Christians, we can be placed into a position that may seem to be too big for our wisdom, knowledge or abilities to accomplish. It is in these kinds of situations that we have to leave our own self-reliance and turn toward God.

    Jesus said in Mat. 6:10, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This verse gives us a model for our lives and especially in any situation which seems to be beyond our own natural abilities or power to achieve.

    When asked by church leadership to take on a ministry or project we should approach the throne of God and ask how He wants this ministry or project to be done and then trust Him to reveal it to us. If we allow God to show us what the will of the Father is, then He will put His stamp on it and we will be successful in His eyes.

    When my wife and I were asked by our church leadership to begin a new ministry, we knew immediately that we didn’t have a clue how to do it. We didn’t hide it from our pastors that we were clueless in this matter, in fact, we told them we hadn’t even noticed that this ministry was needed. We left the meeting with our pastors and began to ask God to show us His vision for this ministry. We knew we needed His plan to bring about His will and to complete our pastor’s vision. I hate to think about how it would have turned out if we hadn’t started seeking God first.

    God then showed me a vision where my wife and I were standing outdoors, we each had a shovel in our hands and were digging a grave-shaped hole. I was thinking “why are we digging a grave”? When we stopped digging, we reached down into the grave and pulled out a person who was dead. As we pulled them up and out of the grave, we dusted them off, and as we cared for them, we saw them come back to life. Then the vision was over, but then we knew what God wanted this ministry to be.The vision cast by God showed us the heart of God in this ministry however, God left it up to us in how we would do things to bring His will to pass. If God had to tell us every little detail of what to do, we would be nothing more than dim-witted people.

    Moses didn’t know how to build a tabernacle nor had there ever been a tabernacle on earth; Moses needed God to cast him a vision. God said to Moses, “According to all that I am going to show you, {as} the pattern of the tabernacle and the pattern of all its furniture, just so you shall construct {it.}” Ex. 25:9

    When you allow God to show you His vision for a ministry or a project, you will find greater enthusiasm, and in times of doubt, discouragement or seemingly ineffectiveness, be sure and remember the given vision and hold fast to His will.